lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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