Dual....:-)
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
