I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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