If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
