Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
