trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
