i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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