I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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