Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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