so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
