I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize