this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
