Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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