You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
