you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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