Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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