I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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