Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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