so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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