and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
