Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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