You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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