I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
