is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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