Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
