Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
