how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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