you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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