thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize