Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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