margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
