Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I wear drunk well.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
