So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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