I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
