one two three fourrrrnication!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
