Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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