At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
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my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
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Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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