i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
