can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
