erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
