During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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