i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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