you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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