just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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