Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
