worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
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We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
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I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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