i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
