He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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