Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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