well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You smell like stripper and shame
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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