we have pet lesbian snakes
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
