Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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