can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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