ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
