Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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