I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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