i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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